Day Plus Two

I went home yesterday and spent the night to catch up on my sleep, here it is Friday morning and I do not feel like I slept at all. Makes no sense... Jody and I talked last night on the phone and she reported she was feeling fine. I have some errands to run this morning and will be at the hospital sometime after lunch.

Today, I want to talk about love. Since I met Jody (February of 2007) I have learned so much about love. I told Jody from the very beginning I was just a guy. My name on Match.com was "Just a Guy". Nothing special about me. Guys can be insensitive, clueless, say and do the wrong things. With us (guys) there is no hidden meaning. On the other hand women (this includes Jody) are different. When something is said, they immediately go into the analysis mode. "I wonder what the person meant by that?" Or, "I can't believe they said that"... "I am afraid I said something wrong and hurt her"... With guys we are too slow ( I would say stupid but that may offend someone... how about can't think fast enough) to bury any hidden meaning in anything we say or do. If we want something we just lay it out there (the opposite sex or persuasion know what I mean; to be PC ). We (guys) can make a guy-friend today and not talk to them for years and when we meet the friend again; we start where we left off. With Jody her love is unconditional and she has taught me what unconditional love is and how to express it in simple ways. She thinks of everyone first before herself. (This is just one example...) Before we went to the hospital she bought all the birthday, anniversary, and special occasion cards she would need for all of 2010. "Jody you are going to the hospital for a stem cell transplant, everyone will understand when they do not get a card... Give me a break!" At first, I thought she was a nut case (OK, maybe a little crazy... everyone who knows Jody can appreciate what I am saying), but I have thought about it the last few days. "I have had this realization come over me." I have come to understand... she really loves you guys and by loving you it gives her a feeling of being loved, a sort of inner calm. "She knows you love her, she knows I love her... but by her giving love, keeping you in her thoughts and truly caring for you... Jody feels loved" She and I cry frequently, I usually cry because she is crying. She cries when she talks to you and she cries when she thinks of you. It is not because she has any pain and it is not because you said anything wrong. It is just simply love!

So if you call and she starts to cry, let her cry, she can not find the words to tell you how much your love, your call, your concern and your thoughts mean to her, because she truly loves you. I must also say (now that I have learned) that it means a lot to me too. There is an inner joy that comes over me when I hear her laugh watching an old western show, or hum a song from an old musical she found on TV, and when I hear Jody say "I love you" or hear her cry when she talks to you.

OK, I am off the sappy stuff. I am getting ready to head out. Need to drop off an alarm clock at Joe's, pick up some odds and ends and head to the hospital.

I arrived at the hospital about 4:00 pm. Jody was talking with her friend Pam and using hand motions to direct me to pick up her room. I laid out for her a selection of candy bars, power bars and cheese; all had been approved before I brought them in. She grabbed the string cheese and devoured it immediately. The hospital food as you know, can be a bit of a challenge.

Jody's ANC actually went up over 2,000. In checking with the nurse we were told this is normal after the transplant. Jody looked great and continues to tolerate all of the medicines. They tell us to expect her ANC to drop drastically over the nest few days. When this happens Jody's energy level will crash.

We eat dinner together at the table. Jody had a soft ball size scoop of tuna (not tuna salad... she can't have lettuce, green onion, etc) the same size scoop of egg salad (not sure it was egg salad, but they said it was) and several saltines in those individual size bags that seem to always taste stale. I had a piece of Talapia fish cooked in a butter wine sauce with a spicy salsa made of tomato, cilantro, jalapeno and lime juice and a side of turmeric rice. It was delicious (yea right!), and the company was great. After dinner we watched TV and relaxed. I left around 10:00 pm after she received all her medicines and the DREADED shot.

"The greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being."

Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lamat